


confessions of a different kind

by SPIDERB4BY (soulsasylum)



Category: Father Ted
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 13:22:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29950620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soulsasylum/pseuds/SPIDERB4BY
Summary: Dougal takes Father Damo’s advice and finally makes a move.
Relationships: Ted Crilly/Dougal McGuire
Kudos: 4





	confessions of a different kind

**Author's Note:**

> hi! <3 
> 
> i’m reposting my fics so they are all in one place. sadly i orphaned my original account under ‘SPIDERB4BY’. but alas it is me, i have returned.

It wasn't the first time Ted woke to Dougal sound asleep in his bed, cuddled up beside him with his head resting on Ted's chest. Ted could only smile and try his best to put a bit of space between them, but the last time he'd tried that he woke to Dougal having practically crawled on top of him like he was a giant teddy bear of sorts, and that had been too much for Ted to handle the first time.

It was wrong, and he was definitely going to hell for it, but eventually Ted allowed himself to enjoy Dougal's company in bed on nights the younger priest sought comfort. Ted was brave enough now to rest a hand at Dougal's back or run his fingers through soft auburn hair, causing Dougal to nuzzle against him, and sometimes, whisper Ted's name.

At that point Ted would become hard, painfully so, and shy away from Dougal as they'd both wake, feeling tremendous amounts of shame washing over him. And Dougal, blissfully unaware of sexual desires, would lean in and whisper the sweetest of sleepy “good mornings” that melted Ted's heart into a puddle. He'd remind himself then of why Dougal was in his bed in the first place: scary films, books, stories told by Mrs Doyle… the list went on. And once Dougal had promised not to read said books or watch said films again, he'd leave the room for breakfast and Ted would practically run to the bathroom, locking himself in. Thus beginning the internal war of whether or not going to hell was worth the pleasure he sought in jerking himself off to the image of his best friend. Which in the end, denial always won and he'd be left with a dull ache between his legs whenever he looked at Dougal.

Ted wasn't sure when exactly he'd started to look at his friend in this way, but it was incredibly confusing as he considered himself not only to be heterosexual, but also a man of god, and shouldn't be having these thoughts in the first place. It wasn't Dougal's fault, of course, but it was easy to peg the blame on him. One could argue that he knew exactly what he was doing climbing into bed with Father Crilly like that, but then Ted remembered this was Dougal and that it was impossible for the young priest to understand the aspects of sexuality and desire altogether. He had to explain sex to Dougal again just last week after Jack had been watching a very suggestive film. God, it was terribly awkward. But he supposed what it eventually boiled down to was that Dougal was seeking comfort from his friend, and that Ted was a disgusting old pervert of some kind and needed to be thrown into the ring of fire personally by Bishop Brennan.

Or so he thought.

The two sat on their own beds, Ted nearly ready to shut the lights out and pass out after a long debate of ‘The Beast’ - a terrible monster that was terrorizing the sheep of Craggy Island - not being real and that Dougal had nothing to fear. For God's sake it was nearly as bad as breaking the news of Darth Vader being fictional, but it had to be done. Dougal had a very fragile sense of dreams versus reality. Still, after telling Dougal many times he had nothing to worry about as the monster wasn't real nor was Dougal a sheep, somehow the younger priest still ended up in Ted's bed. Now he lay there, too close. At least he was warm, that'll solve the heating issue, Ted thought before finally closing his eyes and settling himself for sleep.

“Ted?”

The older priest kept his eyes closed and took in a deep breath before answering, “Yes?” He felt Dougal scoot closer and drape an arm around his middle. Ted went very still. Then came, “Do you remember Father Damo?”

Ted opened his eyes then, though narrowly. How could he forget Father Damo? The bad boy priest/whistle thief! Admittedly, Ted had been very jealous of Dougal's new friend at the time.

“What are you on about, Dougal?”

“Well, it's just, he told me something,” Dougal went quiet then and let go of Ted, shying away to play with the frayed end of blanket instead.

Ted rolled on his side to face Dougal, their faces mostly hidden in the dark, though the irritation was somewhat clear on Ted. “What is it, Dougal?”

“He said that you love me, Ted,”

“Dougal,” Ted started, but Dougal continued on anyway.

“And well, I was wondering, you know, if you do?”

Ted let go of a heavy sigh and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Dear fecking God. He had to be painfully direct with Dougal on most things, why should he think this would be any different?

“Dougal, of course I love you-”

“Ah, that's just brilliant Ted, thanks very much.” Dougal said this as if he hadn't just asked a very serious question and there was no problem at all. Snuggling nearer, he tucked himself beneath Ted's chin.

Ted decided sleep would have to wait.

“Dougal, I don't think you understand. There are many different types of love. Do you happen to know which type Father Damien was referring to?”

“Ah, this kind, I suppose.” Dougal said and gave Ted a gentle squeeze around the middle.

“And what exactly is this kind?” Ted asked amusedly.

Dougal was silent for a moment and Ted allowed it, knowing that he'd just asked a particularly difficult question and Dougal would need extra time to work it out. However, he wasn't prepared for Dougal's answer when it finally came.

“You make me feel safe. There's no chance of that beast getting me here, now is there, Ted?” A playful nudge to his chest, and Ted could feel Dougal smile against him.

“No, Dougal, the beast won't get you here, I’ve told you this many times,” Ted shook his head, annoyed, but found himself grinning. “But did Father Damien say which kind of love? Remember what I told you about the love between a man and a woman? Surely it's not that kind of love he was talking about, right?”

“Ah, yeah Ted, it was actually - kind of - all that sexual business. He said since we sleep together-”

“Dougal that's a different kind of sleep… We’ve been over this before...We aren’t-”

“Is it? How so?”

A deep sigh, then, “We aren't married and we haven't had sex, Dougal.”

Dougal giggled nervously, “Oh, I guess you're right there, Ted, but...”

“But?”

“But what if…”

“Dougal.” Ted's voice was stern. He didn't like where this was going even if the focus of his sexual fantasies of late had indeed been Dougal, it wasn't right. In reality Ted supposed he posed as a father figure to Dougal, a caretaker, friend. Not a lover.

“Father Damo said I should try something that'll tell me if you feel the same. He told me to do this so I'd shut up and stop talking about you so much. It would annoy him when I talked about you, Ted. Can I try it? He said it would make things clear and you know how I have a problem seeing things. It's like Mrs Doyle's forgotten to clean my windows or something.”

God, there was Dougal in his mind, a little fluffy puppy wearing a red sweater vest, begging so sweetly behind a dusty window. How could Ted say no?

Swallowing hard, Ted nodded slowly, silently giving Dougal permission to do whatever it was he wanted to try. Though nothing could have prepared him for the moment when Dougal climbed on top of him, straddled his waist and joined their lips in a soft, eager kiss. It was so sweet and innocent that Ted thought he'd died, but then everything changed when Dougal rolled his hips down hard. Ted's eyes shot open wide, panicked, and he felt a jolt of desire shoot straight to his cock. Breaking the kiss, he pushed Dougal off of him

“Dougal, that-” Ted was left somewhat breathless. Perhaps he needed to study the old chart, just to be safe, though he was sure he was dreaming.

“You didn't like it…” Dougal interrupted. His voice seemed to shake a little and he bowed his head. “...D-damo said you might not.”

“No, Dougal, I-” Ted paused, unsure of what to say. The problem was he had like it, a lot, and terrified him.

“I'm sorry, Ted,” Dougal started, “I won't do it again. I promise. I just wanted to be sure.” He began rocking back and forth - this was something he often did when he was upset or scared.

“Dougal,” Ted reached out and rested a hand gently on his knee, attempting to calm him. Ted figured this was a conversation better done with the aid of facial expressions, for Dougal's sake, and turned on the lights. “The thing is Dougal, I did like it. I've always thought you were lovely, you see, but it's- we-” Dougal looked more confused than usual, wide-eyed and very pale like he might be sick. It broke Ted's heart. “We're priests, and this sort of thing,” he continued, pointing between them. “Can't go on between us. Don't you remember?”

“But it's not fair Ted! I don't want to be a priest, I don't even believe in organized religion!”

“God, Dougal, you can't say things like that! It's wrong!”

“No Ted, the church is wrong. God is wrong.” Dougal crossed his arms and pouted.

Ted blinked slowly, shocked by Dougal's words.

“ I suppose Father Damo told you that too? Where will we go then when Bishop Brennan kicks us out of here? You don't want that to happen, do you?” While Ted also agreed that it wasn't fair, someone had to be the rational one between them.

“If it means I can love you, I would, Ted.”

“Dougal that's just crazy, think about it. No one is saying you can't love me. You just-”

Dougal shook his head defiantly.

“Father Damo said that it's okay to feel this way, Ted. He said this is why I can’t talk to girls or understand them, you know? He said it's why I feel comfortable with you and want to always be with you.”

“Dougal, while that may be true, the whole desires of the flesh… that can't happen… it isn't holy. Obviously Father Damo forgot to mention that. Imagine if Bishop Brennan was to find out, he'd kill us!”

“But Ted! I need... I want...” Dougal struggled with his words, looking down at his pants with a frown. “When I think about you, it feels good. God, Ted, it feels good. And what we did just there, that felt brilliant.”

Ted flushed at the memory of Dougal kissing him, feeling that warmth where he'd ached for so long. He knew they'd be risking life as they knew it here if they continued, but Dougal had been honest in what he wanted from Ted, maybe it was time Ted was honest too, with Dougal and himself. If he was bound to end up in hell anyway for the money resting in his account then why did it matter? Maybe Father Damo had been right. Maybe it was… Okay… If they loved each other, of course.

“Dougal...” Ted called softly.

“What?”

“Come here.”

Dougal's face lit up almost instantly and he quickly arranged himself in Ted's lap once more, head resting on Ted's shoulder. Ted made an appreciative noise, warmth spreading throughout him again, the ache within him becoming more apparent as he whispered, “If we’re going to do this it has to stay between us. You can't tell anyone. Not Jack or Mrs Doyle. Not Tom and Mary. Only me, Dougal. Do you understand?”

“I do, Ted.” Dougal nodded enthusiastically.

“And we'll be going to hell for this too, spending all of eternity atoning for our sins. I hope you’re happy about that because it's what we have to look forward to.” Ted added and finally let his hands wander down Dougal's back, hugging the younger priest closer to him. Dougal hummed in appreciation.

“Oh, I am Ted, very happy. Happier than you are when there’s money or fame involved.” he whispered against Ted's neck, then, pressed his lips gently at the sensitive skin. Ted moaned.

“How do y-you -” Ted gripped Dougal by the hips, keeping him in place. Dougal rocked forward in return, continuing to pepper kisses along his neck. “My God Dougal, how are you doing this? Did you watch something you weren't supposed to on the television?” As far as Ted knew, Dougal was still a virgin and had never had any kind of sexual relations with anyone before. He was seriously starting to doubt that this was true, given the way Dougal moved. Dougal, however, shook his head and rubbed against Ted again, firmly this time, with clear intent. Ted made a small noise in return, hands moving lower to grip Dougal's ass.

“It makes sense with you, Ted. Y-you aren't a woman, you don't have breasts, and you definitely aren't a nun! I don't know all of what I'm doing, but it feels good. I think you'll have to put it in me though, Ted. I think that would feel better than me putting it in you-”

“DOUGAL!” Ted's face turned about fifty shades of red.

“Well, alright Ted, if you'd rather me-”

“God Almighty! I thought you didn't know how sex worked? Have you been lying to me this whole time?”

“No, no, I haven't, really! But you never asked me if I knew how it worked with a man. Women don't make sense to me, Ted, you know this.”

“I thought sex in general was a mystery to you! My god Dougal, I really can't believe this!”

“Ah, lighten up Ted. Think of it this way, you won't have to settle for calling out my name in your sleep anymore, you can have me for real, I'm all yours.”

“You think this is funny, don't you? You knew what you were doing all along when you climbed into my bed pretending to be afraid of imaginary monsters!”

“Monsters? Where?” Dougal hugged Ted so tightly it hurt.

Ted sighed. He was as hard as he'd ever been in his life and he had Dougal seated in his lap. The frustration of denying himself all those times before seemed to hit him all at once.

“You're a great fecking idjit, you know that?” He huffed, burying his face into Dougal's neck.

“Ah, come on, you love me.”

“Yes, Dougal, I love you.”

“So you'll put it in me now, won't you, Ted?”

“DOUGAL!”

A crash down the hall, followed by, “DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS! DRINK!”

Ted groaned. Of course.

“Ted, we could always pretend we didn't hear him and lock the door.”

“He'd just break it down. Now get off me, he'll be wanting his drink.”

“Ted.”

“What is it now Dougal?”

“You’d better put a robe on. You don't want Father Jack to see your trousers like that.” Dougal giggled and pointed at the obvious tenting in the front of his pajama pants. Ted answered with a dry laugh and wrapped his robe around his body while Dougal settled back onto his bed comfortably. Ted knew by the time he got back, Dougal would be fast asleep. One thing's for sure, there'd be no denying himself in the bathroom tonight.


End file.
